“Our sudden loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts.” “Hey folks, we’re going to play a little game of geography trivia. On an ocean crossing flight: “This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices…” 22 with a hand fluted cylinder.Īll three are capable of piercing body armor at a distance of up to 27 feet and can put a hole in human bone and flesh the size of the Grand Canyon, which by the way is coming up on the left-hand side of the plane, so just sit back and relax and enjoy the rest of the flightĪnnouncements You Don’t Want to Hear on an Airplane And our chief flight attendant Roger has a Ruger Bearcat. Also the co-pilot is carrying a Kimber custom defense pistol with all the bells and whistles you’d expect from a custom gun of that kind, with an alloy frame and bevel treatment on the entire gun. I’m packing a Colt King Cobra, that’s a 357 caliber firearm with a black rubber grip and a 6-inch barrel. We’re flying at an altitude of 37,000 feet and our airspeed is 400 miles an hour.Ī couple little facts here. On the right you can be able to see the Hoover Dam in just a few minutes. Coming up on the left, we’re going to be catching a glimpse of the Grand Canyon. Good afternoon, this is your captain speaking with just a little flight information. The Best Airline Captain Announcement Ever We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
And from the pilot during his welcome message: “We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry …Unfortunately none of them are on this flight…!Īnd, after landing: “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express.